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BANZAI
2003

poster

TV Quiz Show

Director:

...

Language:
English/Japanese

Running Time: 20'

Main Cast:


Plot:
It all starts like this...


no, sorry, like this...


well, anyhow, whatever...


the puffing begins...


and it goes on...and on...


I think we need to take a break...


It never ends!


but it's getting closer to the final puffsssss....


17:21..................................17:32..........


!!!!!

Rutger's Notes:
I don't want to have the Lewinsky thing lingering too long so I'll tell you what happened there. Let's be real. Smoking is for idiots and other stupid cowboys. Let's just re-establish this fact. When the BANZAI SHOW people first came to me they asked me if I wanted to have some fun on their show and - because of my travels - it kinda took them a year to come up with the brief story they wanted me to take part in.

They wanted me sitting in a chair holding a lit cigarette.That was it. I told them I had some problems with smoking for any kind of audience. They said I did not have to. It was just to illustrate a question which people would take bets on - "How many seconds will it take before the ash will crash on the floor?"

As I was in LA and had just finished the "ALIAS" episode it suddenly started to come together. I kept asking the BANZAI PEOPLE for a script which finally arrived on the day of the shoot. It had me smoking a lot to speed up the processe and had no humour and felt bad and stupid. It pissed me off and I started thinking about ways to make it fun. The CIGAR has such a different image. And in a way - just like the GUINNESS ADS, was less tacky and more over the top.

I was going to run with the idea if they were open to it. If not I was fully ready to say thankyouverymuch and walk. I wanted a little joke and not a commercial to promote smoking. The End.

Afer the usual awkwardness we decided to try this and people started running around finding a decent cigar. The lady who was directing the skid was nice. Called the UK for an OK. Then we discussed the possibillities. She had a "shotlist" a mile long. Like 20 something. And instead of sitting there with the lit cigar and ash ready to fall, they insisted I smoke the thing until it would actually happen. That was the game. I thought darrrnit. That can take forever. I said, "You'll have to cut anyway because it takes so long". They knew I was right. "So why not shoot in cuts?". We agreed to do the long one take first and then do some different angles. Since the whole thing was about the falling of the ashes we needed to be sure to have a good clear shot there. If that got screwed we'd have to do the thing again .And let me tell you: "EEEEWWEEEH!".

I have never acquired a serious taste for the severe wealth and richness of these oversized brown smelly things. So I must be missing a major taste but. Butt anyway. I have seen many overmuscled and underdeveloped of my species on their HD trying to look cooler than hell fondling these brown leaves. I can't help that my first and last idea is that I'm just a macho dick sucking on another dick. It's not that hard to figure out the symbolism. If this is true - I'm not totally sure - it is also a very crooked idea of macho and cool. And I love Bill. And I love a small cigar. From time to time. Can't even finish those....

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